On Unbalanced Weeks and Dealing with The Murky Area
I had a lovely but hectic weekend, and am having trouble finding my footing this week. One of my best friends was in town for one day from Overseas, and I was able to drive 2 hours to spend some much needed quality time with her. I hadn't seen or talked to her in a year, and it was so special to have a day with her, and on her birthday no less! I wouldn't have traded it for anything, especially a week where my lunches were pre-packed and the counters were clean. With my husband's work schedule during the school year, a majority of the childcare and household activities are on me. It's something that we're working on, and is the main reason why I'm always looking for a Mama Life Hack or a way to streamline my routine.
Some days I feel like there is no way to ever get ahead, especially if I'm not feeling well or we were unable to get our critical household tasks done for the week. Other weeks, I feel like I'm on the top of my game, and I'm crossing everything off of my list. Perhaps I need to focus on the murky middle area and lower some of my expectations. Or listen to Marie Kondo and finally Tidy the rest of my house and solve all my problems (ha!). I'm working on finding my way, and remembering that as my son grows older and our routines shift, I'll need to be flexible..
I don't think I'm different than others. We always have to choose, and weigh the odds. Sometimes, I say no to things, especially if it's with an acquaintance versus a lifelong friend that I get to see once per year. Other times, I think of what Henry will enjoy most. Sometimes I think about what I need for my mental sanity to be the best mom I can be, and I know that if I spread myself too thin, I suffer.
Last night we chose to play with our neighborhood friends for Pizza Truck Tuesday, instead of grocery shopping. I think it's evident that we all won on this outing. When I look back at my weeks, I'll remember the times where we played with our friends in the late afternoon sunshine after work, and will forget that we were all tired and cranky after a work day. I'll remember commiserating with a friend whose 4 year old was so cranky, she had to leave early.
I'll remember laughing with my best friend this Sunday while Henry threw rocks in the river. I won't regret not going to the grocery store, even though this week feels unsettled chores-wise. I'll remember the crisp air and neat shops we looked at in Elicott City, MD. I'll remember laughing at memories and trying to have 4 conversations at once with your best friends since it's been so long.
I'll remember catching up with our good friends in town from NYC on Saturday, and how Henry ran over to Mike's self portraits while visiting his studio to sit near Daddy. I'll remember playing with a soccer ball and having an impromptu picnic in Rittenhouse Square, like we did when we all moved to Philly in 2004 with our friend Coco.
We'll order the groceries online, maybe just this week. I'll settle into the murky middle parts of my weekly routines, and try to view it on a monthly basis as a whole, instead of week by week. And I'll be gentle with to myself, just like a wise friend told me to do when I was a new Mama. There are only so many hours, and only so many hours with a sweet little boy, who will grow up way too fast, as everyone tells me. But not today. Today, he is two.